16 July, 2013

I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.

Dear M,

I still remember the first day, with a tear sliding down my cheek. I was reading your text on the plane while thinking which could be the next time I would see you again.

It is extremely difficult to start your own way and realising all the way you still need to walk. Firstly the end of this way seems absurdly boundless and ridiculously far from were you are. But you told me once that we need just to think in the next step, and suddenly when we realise, we just need to look backwards and notice all the way we just walked. It was not even that far!

You and I both, knew that I have learned too many things for such a short time. I cannot remember a single day of this year that I didn't learned, watched or experienced anything new. Neither a single day I didn't missed you, though.

 Anyway, the road always continues, and we still needing to grow and to learn as much as we are able to, because enthusiasm and knowledge enrich life and fulfill the soul. It has been an overwhelming year in a lot of senses, I wish I can share with you such a rewarding feeling, but I am sure you can imagine, you always have been extremely good at guessing what was going on. I am partially sorry for being such a difficult girl.

In your letter you said I am now over age. I know it have not been the best birthday in my life. But I think that birthdays are like Christmas, you need to be with your people and siblings in order to enjoy them, or maybe that's just a social convection and I am just being silly here. I hope L is not reading this right now, because he would be fairly pissed off with my thoughts. Heh, he is lovely :).
But even with the best party I know how much has this year meant. Language, people, shops, habitues, culture, love, cities, landscapes, parties, protocols, work and paperwork...
I even learned how to miss people properly.

Now on, I know I need to continue working, but I don't particularly want you are proud of me. I want to share this everything with you in order you to help me not to get rid of it easily. I want to keep it in my life, with you :).

Thank you very much for everything, and D's pics.
I could never be grateful enough.